Most couples unknowingly disturb each other’s sleep every night, but the effect is often minor and goes unnoticed. While people believe they sleep better with a partner, objective measurements show increased sleep disruption when sharing a bed. This isn’t necessarily a problem, and in some cases, it might even be a natural part of how humans have always slept.
How Couples Disrupt Each Other
Research consistently finds that co-sleeping leads to movement-sharing: when one partner shifts, the other stirs too. Studies reveal that couples experience an average of two extra awakenings per night simply from their partner’s movements. One study using scalp electrodes showed individuals had 51 leg movements per night alone, but 62 with a partner. Despite this, people typically only remember one of these disturbances, suggesting most are too brief to register consciously.
When It Becomes a Problem
Significant sleep disruption emerges when one partner snores or suffers from insomnia. Insomnia leads to more tossing and turning, inevitably disturbing the other person. This can even lead to “sleep divorce” – couples sleeping separately to avoid disturbances – though experts suggest addressing the underlying sleep issue is a better approach.
Solutions for Better Sleep
Several strategies can mitigate these issues:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Joint sessions can improve sleep for both partners, particularly if insomnia is the root cause.
- Separate Blankets: The “Scandinavian method” – sharing a bed but using individual blankets – resolves blanket-hogging disputes.
- Snoring Treatments: CPAP machines and mandibular advancement devices (mouthguards) can reduce snoring, while wearing a backpack to bed encourages side-sleeping for back-snoring cases.
A Historical Perspective
Communal sleeping isn’t new. Archaeological evidence suggests it’s been common throughout human history. 77,000-year-old plant mattresses found in South Africa were large enough for families, and pre-industrial societies like the Hadza people of Tanzania sleep side by side, waking frequently but reporting no sleep issues.
The Takeaway
While partners disrupt sleep more than we realize, the impact is often minimal. The average person wakes several times a night regardless, and minor disturbances are unlikely to affect overall sleep quality. The key is addressing underlying problems like snoring or insomnia rather than automatically resorting to separate beds.
